What’s Keeping You From Singing?

Composer Note: My mission in composing this song was to respond to the joys, sorrows, hopes and dreams of Rochester Women’s Community Chorus. Soon after the contract was signed, the choir sent me a rich letter describing what was important to its members – community, joy, song, peace, courage...

In the letter were some poems and quotes, including an excerpt from Angeles Arrien’s book, The Four-Fold Way: Walking the Paths of the Warrior, Teacher, Healer and Visionary (HarperCollins, © 1993):

“In many shamanic societies, if you came to a shaman or medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions. When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?”

Meanwhile, I had more commissions than I could comfortably keep up with. As a self-publisher I was scrambling to keep up with order fulfillment, printing, bill paying, special requests, editing, and the endless email correspondence that comes along with running one’s own business. I loved the music I was composing and the musicians I was writing for. But with every week bringing some new deadline or unexpected challenge, I was not really resting. My brain felt full all the time.

In short, I was not singing. I was not dancing. I was not hearing stories. I was not enjoying silence.

Yes, my mission was to respond to the joys, sorrows, hopes and dreams of Rochester Women’s Community Chorus...but in every commission I also have to engage the yearnings of my own heart. I wrapped Arrien’s four questions into the chorus of What’s Keeping You From Singing?, and wrote a song of encouragement and love both to the choir and to myself.

Composing this song encouraged me to slow down, trust more, and accept less work. As I write these words two years later, I am happy to report that I am singing.